HABITS & SHIFTS FROM THE PAST DECADE THAT HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE
In my effort to reflect on the past decade I couldn’t help but consider all of the things that have shaped me into the person I am today. These are a few things I have adopted over the past 10 years that have changed my life for the better. Some may be easier than others but I can say with extreme confidence that they have made me better & have helped me live my best life. I am not an expert in these areas & I am a greatly imperfect human, so please take these with a grain of salt, they are my experiences & my personal values in the form of commitments & things I have shifted to improve myself.
Drinking More Water
I know this may sound trivial but drinking water was a huge shift for me this past decade. I grew up drinking soda when I was thirsty & hated the taste of water. When I began living on my own I realized the best way to kick my soda habit was to not have soda in my home. From there I began drinking water, and eventually about 3-4 liters of water a day. Now I don’t even have to think about my water intake, my body naturally consumes at least 3 liters of water a day & when I don’t I immediately feel the negative impacts of its absence (headache or migraine & general dehydration). I have a 1-liter reusable water bottle (side note—make a commitment to stop using single-use plastic water bottles, they are absolutely horrible for the planet & completely unnecessary) & having a large water bottle is key for me (I love this one!)—it’s much easier to track the completion of 3 bottles versus 6 or more. If you work at a desk my best tip is to use a water bottle with a straw—this is how my water intake maintained itself when I worked full-time, I could sip water while typing emails or doing work without needing to pause. Here are some more tips I shared on Glitter Guide last year.
Becoming Debt-Free
With the exception of our mortgage (& my husband’s student loans) we are living debt-free. This is something that has felt so freeing for me personally. As soon as I turned 18 I was encouraged to have credit cards & to use them as my source of currency with little education or understanding about the implications of such. That quickly spiraled out of control & by the time I was in my mid-twenties I was sitting on at least $10,000 worth of credit card debt & it was suffocating. Strong financial literacy was not modeled for me growing up but fortunately, my husband brought a much more levelheaded mindset about spending & saving to our partnership. Together we worked to pay off our collective credit card debt (we added about $5,000 to it while planning our wedding). In December 2018 we paid our last credit card off & we no longer use credit cards for purchases with the exception of a mileage card for flights that we pay off immediately. The results of this have been liberating beyond measure. There are many different methods & approaches to paying off debts but the thing that worked best for us was the snowball approach (via Dave Ramsey) where you pay off one card at a time starting with the card that has the smallest balance in an effort to build momentum (& for me, confidence that I actually COULD pay off my debt). My husband & I also hustled & made lifestyle changes with the most significant being limitations on eating out. With my work as an Usborne Books & More consultant our debt payoff accelerated & over the past year we’ve put away nearly enough money to purchase a new family car for cash or to serve as a down payment for our next home. We have been able to save simply because we are no longer making hundreds of dollars in credit card payments. Paying off debt is absolutely worth the fight.
Letting Go of My Expectations of Others
With some of the most significant events of my life happening over the past 5 years (wedding, motherhood & the birth of my boys) I’ve been confronted with unfulfilled expectations & behaviors by a specific member of my family. Initially, I was severely wounded & heartbroken by this. But several months after the birth of Buddy & realized that my having expectations of another person was only going to bring me disappointment. By letting go of what I thought that relationship would bring me during these milestones in my life I have felt a huge weight lifted. I have learned that I have a set amount of energy in my day & when I spend my energy on disappointment, frustration & anger it depletes the energy I have to use on joy, love & being present with my family. It’s unfortunate that this situation became part of my reality but ultimately that is not on me, by letting go of that I have more control over my life & I’ve felt lighter & happier as a result.
Going Vegan/Eating Plant-Based
After being vegetarian for the past 10 years I knew that transitioning vegan was a lifestyle shift that aligned with my values. In learning more & more about the implications of animal & dairy farming on our planet, our fellow creatures & on my health (along with the health of the people I love most) it became undeniable that this was a transition that I was ready to make & it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I will go more into depth about why I made this transition in a future post but I spent 2018 making the transition (read about that & see the tips that I shared on Glitter Guide here) & I began 2019 95% vegan with the only exception being when we traveled. Then I listened to this podcast episode & it struck me to the core (& later my husband who is now also vegan). On June 4th, 2019 I committed 100% to the vegan lifestyle, my husband joined me shortly after & the benefits have been abundant with zero compromises to our previous lifestyle. I feel that I can practice what I preach about compassion to my children, I feel that I’m doing my part to reduce my carbon footprint & negative impact on the planet & I feel lighter, healthier & happier without animal products in my system through both the physical weight of them & the emotional weight of their suffering. The evidence is overwhelming, if you are at all interested in this lifestyle I highly urge you to try it. Start with Veganuary & try a vegan lifestyle for the month. You can even sign up on their site & receive tips, recipes & all sorts of wonderful resources. Watch The Game Changes or What the Health for the health benefits, Cowspiracy for planetary benefits & Earthlings or Dominion about what we are doing to our fellow earth inhibitors for the sake of meat & dairy. Listen to the Nutrition Rounds Podcast for a plethora of science & research-based support of a plant-based diet. These two podcast episodes had the most significant impact on me: this one about the ethical aspect of being vegan & this one about a mother’s transition vegan. There is also tons of literature on the subject if you want a good book to dive into—Eating Animals & We Are The Weather by Jonathan Safran Foer & How Not To Die are the ones most frequently highlighted. Erin Ireland also has a whole toolbox of vegan resources if you want to dig in more here.
Setting Boundaries & Limits
This might come easier to some than others but if this past decade has taught me anything it’s that I need limits & boundaries to curb habits or achieve goals. Sometimes this comes in a physical form; sometimes it’s more of a consciousness. In the physical approach, I set parameters that help me stay on track, for example with clutter & possessions. I have a basket where I keep my nail polish & if I get a new nail polish an existing nail polish has to come out. This isn’t a strategy to help me keep refreshing my nail polish collection but rather this keeps me from having an unnecessarily large collection & excessively consuming. I do the same with cookbooks, my clothing rack & so forth. As for conscious boundaries things like setting screen time limits on my iPhone, bedtime reminders, timers for certain tasks & so forth keep me on track as well. Sometimes this even comes in the form of unsubscribing from emails you get from various online retailers or unfollowing accounts on social media that do not help you. There are many ways to set limits & boundaries to help ourselves move forward. Often times if I can identify a problem or something I want to change or a goal I want to reach for there is usually a limit I can set that will help me in support or moving through it.
Making My Bed
I don’t know exactly when this shift happened but I can say this small shift has a plethora of benefits. I’m at the point in my life now where I HAVE to make my bed, it’s just as much a part of my life as brushing my teeth or eating. My husband is even on board & in fact, he makes the bed more than I do (because he usually beats me to it). There is so much satisfaction in enjoying a bedroom that has a bed made & crawling into a freshly unmade bed at the end of the day. There is also a ton of evidence about how bed-making is a link between many successful & highly effective people. I can’t say that I make my bed to join the ranks of the high achievers, I really just don’t like the idea of dust, dirt or crumbs ending up in my sheets—but if it makes me a more effective person I certainly am not complaining.
Meal Planning
I cannot imagine my life without meal planning. When my husband & I were first living together we found that we ate out A LOT. Then it came time to plan for our wedding & we needed to save, save, save. We realized that by preparing meals at home we could drastically cut the cost of what we spent eating out. From there meal planning quickly became a natural part of my life & now it’s one of my favorite weekly tasks. You need to find a method that works for you & your lifestyle in order to be successful but here is a glimpse at how I do it. Start by designating a shopping day, previously we did this on Saturdays so that my husband could help out but now that the boys are older I do it with them solo on Fridays. On that day, or the day/evening before, prepare your menu for the upcoming week. Since I love cookbooks (like, LOVE THEM) this is such a treat for me. I usually have my coffee at hand & a stack of cookbooks I have selected for the week. I try to source recipes that feature seasonal ingredients (though this is still a work in progress for me) & I take into consideration what we already have on hand that we can use. We have some staple meals that are always factored in & certain days that we honor the same meal—like Taco Tuesday or Pizza Friday, which is just something fun that we do. From there I plan out meals based on 1.) the amount of effort they require (for example on Wednesday’s when I have prenatal yoga I plan an easy & fast meal) & 2.) how long the ingredients will last (for example recipes with ingredients that are more perishable are planned ASAP whereas recipes with ingredients that are more substantial can wait till later in the week). As I construct our menu I create a grocery list of ingredients we need & organize my list in relation to the layout of the grocery store for ease of shopping (ie: all produce is grouped together, canned goods together, etc.). I usually plan one meal a weekend where we dine out or order takeout as well. What I found is that the more you put meal planning into practice the more you will find what works for you & how to make adjustments as you go. I find that cookbooks & handy little meal planners help a lot (I just grabbed this meal planner because the grocery list can be torn off the side—brilliant!).
Mantra & Intentions
With the fast-paced world we live in & a busy mind I personally need a grounding mindset. Mantras & intentions help me drastically. Sometimes I set an intention for a year, sometimes I set one for a month, and sometimes it’s on a daily level. It can be as simple as a word or it can be more, whatever it is it’s something I strive to keep at the forefront of my mind & check-in with. Mantras can be really helpful for overriding negative or unhelpful thinking. When I am pregnant I adopt a prenatal mantra & whenever I start to feel anxious or nervous about the baby I simply repeat this mantra over & over in my head: “I am strong, I am healthy. Baby is strong, baby is healthy”. Having a mantra really helps me stay focused on my intentions or helps divert my mind from the dark hole of negative thinking. You can adopt one from somewhere or someone else or make one. I like to keep them easy & memorable so that my brain can simply auto-pilot to them when it needs to.
Working to Better Understand Racism, Oppression & Privilege
When I became a Teach For America corps member a large part of my development came in the form of learning about racism & oppression & reflecting on my own privileges. That work continued into my 5 years of working on staff at Teach For America & I’m truly grateful for the exposure & experiences that opened my eyes. I grew up completely sheltered from these types of conversations & a broader perspective of the world around me. It’s been uncomfortable work at times & I’ve stumbled over & over & over (& over & over…) again but I believe this type of work is critical. The spaces & conversations I’ve been a part of have pushed me in the most significant ways. Now as a mother, I continue to reach for this type of growth because my work of understanding my privilege & the experiences of others will never be done, but my work in doing this as a mother to two white boys is one of the most important aspects of how I raise them. Thankfully I also have a husband who is committed to doing the same & we have been able to grow alongside each other. It’s hard for me to point to a place to start because we are all coming from different places & all have different work to do to understand racism, sexism, oppression, & other biases but maybe the place to start is by embracing the fact that this will be likely be uncomfortable & if it is, you are on the right track. You can also start with a book-- Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum was the first of this type of reading I did, but there are many, many books on this subject that address this topic, this year I’ll be reading Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson to further expand my understanding of injustice.